now and then i think its going to be ok.... but really its not =/

How can u walk right by and not even glance my way. When Im having a conversation with our friends.why do u always abstain? Im still so used to seeing u and u walking right up to say hi. Why cant we just go back and give us just one more try I promise we could make it work. I still love you. But what hurts me the most ...is wondering if I ever meant anything to u and If i love u always, i promise. was just a lie.

im so hurt.. i feel as though i cant smile. the only way i can.. is to be with him again. all i want is him but at the same time i dont want my friends to hate me for loving him too much.. i look at everyone and i always think there the best things in the world ive ever had. especially shena, shes always there for me and she cares about me a lot, but i cant make her happy =/=/ im always sad.

:S people may think i chose a boy over my greatest friends... its not true. i love all of yous including him... no matter what, no one will ever be replaced. i dont even have enemies at the moment. i hate no one. i love everyone in the world even the cruelest of them all.. but the people i love most are my friends and him...
i try to not think about him every second of the day. but everything reminds me about him. theres tags all over my tutor books! tag on my pencil case and ruler... tags in nearly every classroom! every love song i hear even reminds me of him. harstyles too. my room reminds me of him :S my maths hw reminds me of him.... a stupid bottle reminds me of him... things that made me happy reminds me of him..... pretty much everything reminds me of him... and when i think about it.. i try to not get upset.. but i cant... its really hard and everyone may think im an attention seeker but im not! ITS HARD! AND EVERYONES TELLING ME TO MOVE ON, JUST LET GO OR HES NOT WORTH MY TEARS. and i dont want to say it out loud but I LOVE HIM ALWAYS AND FOREVER..... IM NEVER GOING TO LET GO, EVEN IF HE HATES ME IDC... IM GOING TO LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY LIFE... word of advice never say let go.. or to just forget about him ever again. since the hr he dumped me i havnt eaten ... i only ate at lunch since renee and shena threatened me to :S so i had to. i felt really sick afterwards.. and yeah i cried.. i miss him a lot and he acts like nothing ever happend and as if he doesnt care a damn shit about the times we shared... he doesnt care about me =/=/ im not good enough for him.
am i fat?
am i ugly?
am i a bitch?
am i too clingy?
am i stupid.. for falling for u?
=/

i cant stop crying, even when theres no tears left to cry.. i still cry with dried tears. i cry for hours... =/ i think half the school saw. i had to talk to maths head teacher, ms king, peer mediator and councillor :S... and all they say is to let go.. and that its going to be ok. that im pretty and theres million of guys out there... and that maybe hed give me a second chance.... =/
it kills me when i think that he lied about promising to love me forever and to never let go =/ we talked about our future.. and now i say to myself? doesnt he think its all a waste, to dump the memories and the time we shared into a bin and jst walk away as though u dont care?

Some say hed broken my heart more then once and i still love him.. but when u think of it most of the time he made me smile.. he was one of the reasons why im still living.. =/ =/ =/ and now that hes not with me , theres not enough reasons why i should still live =/ i still have hope though. i say to myself that i will get him back but then people keep saying to let go and that its over... =/
BABE U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! how can u jst lose feelings..... =/ after all the times we had and hrs on the phone.. it just ends =/ is it my fault u lost feelings ? =/
i tried really hard ... but it looked like u wanted to lose feelings .. u wanted me to get hurt? do u like someone else or somethhing..?

im being selfish but idc i want u back. =/=/=/

iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou



arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/


AND ITS WEIRD HOW I STARTED CRYING AND THE RAIN STARTED POORING.