Boys think its clingy right? but the girl jst means hes her one true love and shes trying to tell him that!~ she thinks shes nothing to him... and her hearts broken whenever he says shes too obsessed. the memories of her being with him are haunting her... the fact that he once said he'd love her forever shatters her apart. knowing that shes been lied to ... she still loves him. Seeing him with other girls tares her apart. nothing but a heartache. whenever she thinks of him, her heart thumps.. and sometimes she would cry... on her bed facing the wall that had a tag of his name. the bed that he once lyed on with her.. when they were crazy for eachother. but now its only her crazy for him. all those times =/=/=/ does he even care? cause everyday , every minute she thinks of him. even though its not going to change anything she wishes for his love back in return. Her mind is filled with him hurting her, memories with him and methods in killing herself. she wishes shed stopped but her heart took over her body/mind. she cant controll her feelings. sounds crazy aye? she feels suicidal. she cant act for herself anymore.. she cant smile without her heart aching inside.. she cant live without him. but she cant force him back so she wants to leave this heartless world... but at the same time she doesnt want to leave the people who love her.. the friends who always had her back.. the friends who gave her a shoulder to cry on.. the friends who supported her to be get back with him... when they were still dating... he asked her what would she do if he broke up with her? she said she never stop crying and would die without him. thefore he promised to never break her heart... and so did she, she promised to never break his heart too. she still kept her promise .... but did he? NO~!!?!!??? and thats obviously why shes became so depressed. shes sick of people telling her theres other fish in the sea.. all she wants is that one fish!.. the fish probably fell for someone else by now.. 'the kindest person he's ever met' what does that suppose to mean? so what is she? NOTHING OF COURSE!
atm im crying :S i dont know why, well i do. but im not going to blog it because no one understands... i know u like her...
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
LOLOLOL at sophy and rosa today? wtf :L:L year 7s in shit already.. :S im not taking sides since its none of there faults. rosas my sister and so is sophy.. well ish.
sighs idk why i like drama? but when im involved im so sick and tired of it. weird..
hmms cant waite to go shopping.
shopping list:
Highwaist shorts :D 25?
A dress for marisas (spot this sexy one in supre)25?
Get navel pierced :D 60?
maybe grey contacts :D
work on flat stomache.
and
tony (with 5 stars) hard. ::L:LL:L:L
teehee. school was gay and thats all i can say (A).
sighs idk why i like drama? but when im involved im so sick and tired of it. weird..
hmms cant waite to go shopping.
shopping list:
Highwaist shorts :D 25?
A dress for marisas (spot this sexy one in supre)25?
Get navel pierced :D 60?
maybe grey contacts :D
work on flat stomache.
and
tony (with 5 stars) hard. ::L:LL:L:L
teehee. school was gay and thats all i can say (A).
Saturday, February 13, 2010
HBD SHENA , HAPPY VALENTINES DAY & HAPPY CHINESE NY
Susans party was fun, her friends were scary though.. kept looking at me but it was still fun. mmm ice cream cake, juimping castle, catering and a pinata thingo. teeeheeee after susans party i went with my far cousins, mum and grandma to chua phuc hue or w.e to pray and watch fireworks. (A) i prayed to be happy :)
:S it was rainging like shit so i didnt get to see a close look at the lion dancers. :S oh wells. im sick :S stood in the rain like a shower.. and tried not to think but :S he keeps popping in my mind. then it was 12 and sophy and shena texted me ::L:LL fireworks delayed 3 minutes after and it was sooooo pretty! i recorded it :D and when im bothered ill put it on youtube :D sighs while watching the fireworks i started missing you a lot and wished u were there with me.. i dont know why but i stil love you... :S i know u think im clingy and too **** but i love you and i dont mind with no love in return.. though deep inside i wish u did
:S it was rainging like shit so i didnt get to see a close look at the lion dancers. :S oh wells. im sick :S stood in the rain like a shower.. and tried not to think but :S he keeps popping in my mind. then it was 12 and sophy and shena texted me ::L:LL fireworks delayed 3 minutes after and it was sooooo pretty! i recorded it :D and when im bothered ill put it on youtube :D sighs while watching the fireworks i started missing you a lot and wished u were there with me.. i dont know why but i stil love you... :S i know u think im clingy and too **** but i love you and i dont mind with no love in return.. though deep inside i wish u did
Friday, February 12, 2010
shiet
far i listened to that song do u remember for like 58 times in one day. its so meaningful and good that i put on repeat for hours :L. and now im listening to chuckie akens - love hurts. :S:S its so sad and hearttouching. love songs make me cry :S.
Through these past few days I've been reminiscing back
it�s the first time I couldn't understand what we had
Was it love? Was it passion? Was it all a waste of time?
now its hate, now its pain, now its all this shit combined
I can't force myself to erase all our memories
but when I'm thinking back I always feel like u fooled me
nobody to blame but myself from being blinded
crying in my sleep hoping this hurting passes by
I�ve been told by my sisters how these guys are all the same
but you had me so convinced that my world suddenly changed
cause you always made me smile but a smile isn�t forever
and I guess its unpredictable like change in the weather
I thought we'd work it out like those other times before
but the truth had to reveal, we cant live a lie no more
I'm still young and I'm still trying to stay true to my heart
my dreams have disappeared and now my life's scattered apart
love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyes
the pain I cant explain
all I know is love is pain
Love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyes
the pain I can�t explain
all I know is love is pain
This is me, Kangel
dedicating this song to all my girls
Whose gone through break-ups
Who felt the pain of losing someone you truly love,
and who lost hope and all thier dreams,
but remember, there is someone out there truly special,
waiting for you out there..
Through these past few days I've been reminiscing back
it�s the first time I couldn't understand what we had
Was it love? Was it passion? Was it all a waste of time?
now its hate, now its pain, now its all this shit combined
I can't force myself to erase all our memories
but when I'm thinking back I always feel like u fooled me
nobody to blame but myself from being blinded
crying in my sleep hoping this hurting passes by
I�ve been told by my sisters how these guys are all the same
but you had me so convinced that my world suddenly changed
cause you always made me smile but a smile isn�t forever
and I guess its unpredictable like change in the weather
I thought we'd work it out like those other times before
but the truth had to reveal, we cant live a lie no more
I'm still young and I'm still trying to stay true to my heart
my dreams have disappeared and now my life's scattered apart
love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyes
the pain I cant explain
all I know is love is pain
Love hurts so we all cry
tears droppin from my eyes
the pain I can�t explain
all I know is love is pain
This is me, Kangel
dedicating this song to all my girls
Whose gone through break-ups
Who felt the pain of losing someone you truly love,
and who lost hope and all thier dreams,
but remember, there is someone out there truly special,
waiting for you out there..
Thursday, February 11, 2010
;p
ngaww tony and peter werent here today.. =/=/
oh wells, roll call was kinda fun. but only the parts where people kept going in to give me and shena roses :L yay i got 7 :L and yes all from girls! :L:L
sighs english was so hott and boring .. teacher cant even talk... hehes then i faked to go toilet and just walked around school :D then weird.. chick came in to say that she cant find tony so i just took the rose.. if only he was present today.. well he wasnt so i just gave it to iesha to give to marisa to give to tony :D.
hmmms then sciencce.. yeah yeah boring as usual.
recess.. er boring as usual? :L:L
languages OMFG mr nguyen is a whore! fucking dickhead toos... farout pissed the shit out of me.. he thinks hes all that and kept giving people detention for stupid simple shit! fucking ass, cant even go to a bin? or try get something out of my eye while looking at a mirror? ooooooooooft i want to move language classes..!!!!!!!!!!
yeah yeah then maths.. ngawws looking at the empty spot next to me.. oh wells then sir marked the roll and called out for tony :L:L and i said tonys dead :L:L ahhahahshahahhhahas he actually believed me.. that when i came up to him he asked.. and i just said hes sick at home.. and he asks is he your friend? i answered close friend then walked away.... whispering and ex boyfriend.. :S ra ra ra hahas aderson texted me and it rung .. then stephen got the blame =D =D =D
why do i always get people into trouble?:L:L
anyhow yay lunch me vivian hired our lockers.. and ra ra ra ngggggggggggggggawsss shena dedicated a song to us ' single ladies' to me iesha and vivian :D:D:D:D
then english again :S:S boring as usual.. drew a hot angel with big tits and dannii drew a tank guy with wings :L:L..
then tec... oh yeah nts; do assignment about switzerland.. :S due 26th Feb
homeeeeeeeeeeeee timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and here i am.. i dont why ? but no ones replying me :(
oh wells, roll call was kinda fun. but only the parts where people kept going in to give me and shena roses :L yay i got 7 :L and yes all from girls! :L:L
sighs english was so hott and boring .. teacher cant even talk... hehes then i faked to go toilet and just walked around school :D then weird.. chick came in to say that she cant find tony so i just took the rose.. if only he was present today.. well he wasnt so i just gave it to iesha to give to marisa to give to tony :D.
hmmms then sciencce.. yeah yeah boring as usual.
recess.. er boring as usual? :L:L
languages OMFG mr nguyen is a whore! fucking dickhead toos... farout pissed the shit out of me.. he thinks hes all that and kept giving people detention for stupid simple shit! fucking ass, cant even go to a bin? or try get something out of my eye while looking at a mirror? ooooooooooft i want to move language classes..!!!!!!!!!!
yeah yeah then maths.. ngawws looking at the empty spot next to me.. oh wells then sir marked the roll and called out for tony :L:L and i said tonys dead :L:L ahhahahshahahhhahas he actually believed me.. that when i came up to him he asked.. and i just said hes sick at home.. and he asks is he your friend? i answered close friend then walked away.... whispering and ex boyfriend.. :S ra ra ra hahas aderson texted me and it rung .. then stephen got the blame =D =D =D
why do i always get people into trouble?:L:L
anyhow yay lunch me vivian hired our lockers.. and ra ra ra ngggggggggggggggawsss shena dedicated a song to us ' single ladies' to me iesha and vivian :D:D:D:D
then english again :S:S boring as usual.. drew a hot angel with big tits and dannii drew a tank guy with wings :L:L..
then tec... oh yeah nts; do assignment about switzerland.. :S due 26th Feb
homeeeeeeeeeeeee timeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
and here i am.. i dont why ? but no ones replying me :(
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
anything but pain
swimming carnival was alright. failed the race... killed my toe, leg and thigh :S:S
:S scratched tony today :L:L we had this fight:L:L which was weird ... in a way. im tanned like a bitch! u can see my bikini shape on my chest! and i hhave lines on my thighs :L. my toe hurts so much :(:(
=/=/=/=/ TODAYS WEDNESDAY! i guess... dreams never come true over all... every night i cry myself to sleep. =/ i had high hopes but when i think that you dont care anymore? it hurts me :( Im happy at a time of the day and then in the end im left sad... =/ i really miss you ; however, nothings going to happen.. i dont bother breathing.. ccause you were the reason why i breathed and now that you left me. whats left is friends who love me? but thats not enough :S. i want you baby. =/=/ but ur happy....... though its sad to see that im not the one who's making you smile and laugh... today, when the bell rang, when i walked to back gate with shena and victor.... my heart kept aching =/=/ and seeing victor and shena together... makes me miss the times we had together... =/ =/ =/
ALL THATS LEFT IS A BROKEN HEART.... 2499
everynight, i dream about the times we shared. through the kissing and makeing out to the future we discussed together... remember AMELIA AND ANTON? =/=/=/ the names of our son and daughter? =/ and remember how u wanted to eat max brenna on our 6 months? or the vvalentines day we were suppose to spend together... ?
i miss u kissing me
i miss u hugging me
i miss u loving me
and i miss u with me....
=/=/=/
:S scratched tony today :L:L we had this fight:L:L which was weird ... in a way. im tanned like a bitch! u can see my bikini shape on my chest! and i hhave lines on my thighs :L. my toe hurts so much :(:(
=/=/=/=/ TODAYS WEDNESDAY! i guess... dreams never come true over all... every night i cry myself to sleep. =/ i had high hopes but when i think that you dont care anymore? it hurts me :( Im happy at a time of the day and then in the end im left sad... =/ i really miss you ; however, nothings going to happen.. i dont bother breathing.. ccause you were the reason why i breathed and now that you left me. whats left is friends who love me? but thats not enough :S. i want you baby. =/=/ but ur happy....... though its sad to see that im not the one who's making you smile and laugh... today, when the bell rang, when i walked to back gate with shena and victor.... my heart kept aching =/=/ and seeing victor and shena together... makes me miss the times we had together... =/ =/ =/
ALL THATS LEFT IS A BROKEN HEART.... 2499
everynight, i dream about the times we shared. through the kissing and makeing out to the future we discussed together... remember AMELIA AND ANTON? =/=/=/ the names of our son and daughter? =/ and remember how u wanted to eat max brenna on our 6 months? or the vvalentines day we were suppose to spend together... ?
i miss u kissing me
i miss u hugging me
i miss u loving me
and i miss u with me....
=/=/=/
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
booo hooo :(
Did my typical routine i do every school morning :D
hehes happy birthday my lovely cousin, susan. *rolls eyes* she wants me broke!
NTS; buy susan a pandora bead. gold/silver.
hmmms hehese i was so naughty in roll call i had to be seated next to miss june. ^.^ (A) how much of a rebel am i?
bla bla bla eww assembly under the hot blazing sun whilst the concrete was cold!!! anyhow yay pdh... teehee i forgot my book.
then yayyyyyyy maths with tony :)(A) :D that bitch brused my leg today :(:(
sighs.... i thought hmms.. tmroes wednesday.. =/=/=/ 2499s not going to mean anything if i dont get him back tmro.. but who cares.... =/=/ NOT. fuck hehe kiddings oh wells i cant really get whatever i want whenever i want aye? i just got to be patient. weird... older guys kept looking at to me. *shivers*
the usual recess...
then visual arts :D i got a merit niggas and finished first (A) oh yeah another nts; pay bloody school fees and bring 30 for roses on thursday !
(A) then the usual lunch.... whats wrong with 2010.. how boring and heartbreaking can it get =/
oh wells then eww english with the lady who cant even talk? lol i had the guts to say MISS I CANT READ YOUR WRITING? :L:L then she tells me to move closer... so i did but what i tried to tell her was that she had ugly shit writing? so i said it again and moved back to where dannii was :D. ahahahs and she wrote bigger likeeeeeeeeeee waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger (Y) which is a good thing since im getting blind. :)
:L:L oh yeah and i was listening to music on minimum volume.. stupid bitch didnt even notice :D
sighs.. bell rang and walked back gate with lyndal... while listening to music, i kept thinking about him.. what the fucks wrong with me. at least we're friends for now? right? or not idks :S:S:S =/=/=/ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
fuck tutor :L:L CO HIEN WAS A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH TODAY! offffffffffffffffft --" forgot about our break and didnt even give us one. instead she gave us hard work..--"
hehes happy birthday my lovely cousin, susan. *rolls eyes* she wants me broke!
NTS; buy susan a pandora bead. gold/silver.
hmmms hehese i was so naughty in roll call i had to be seated next to miss june. ^.^ (A) how much of a rebel am i?
bla bla bla eww assembly under the hot blazing sun whilst the concrete was cold!!! anyhow yay pdh... teehee i forgot my book.
then yayyyyyyy maths with tony :)(A) :D that bitch brused my leg today :(:(
sighs.... i thought hmms.. tmroes wednesday.. =/=/=/ 2499s not going to mean anything if i dont get him back tmro.. but who cares.... =/=/ NOT. fuck hehe kiddings oh wells i cant really get whatever i want whenever i want aye? i just got to be patient. weird... older guys kept looking at to me. *shivers*
the usual recess...
then visual arts :D i got a merit niggas and finished first (A) oh yeah another nts; pay bloody school fees and bring 30 for roses on thursday !
(A) then the usual lunch.... whats wrong with 2010.. how boring and heartbreaking can it get =/
oh wells then eww english with the lady who cant even talk? lol i had the guts to say MISS I CANT READ YOUR WRITING? :L:L then she tells me to move closer... so i did but what i tried to tell her was that she had ugly shit writing? so i said it again and moved back to where dannii was :D. ahahahs and she wrote bigger likeeeeeeeeeee waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay bigger (Y) which is a good thing since im getting blind. :)
:L:L oh yeah and i was listening to music on minimum volume.. stupid bitch didnt even notice :D
sighs.. bell rang and walked back gate with lyndal... while listening to music, i kept thinking about him.. what the fucks wrong with me. at least we're friends for now? right? or not idks :S:S:S =/=/=/ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
fuck tutor :L:L CO HIEN WAS A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH TODAY! offffffffffffffffft --" forgot about our break and didnt even give us one. instead she gave us hard work..--"
Sunday, February 7, 2010
8th February*
hmms i woke up at 6:58 and took a half an hour shower power :D and got ready for school. freaken mum went somewhere and came back at 8:20 :S so had to waite... rarara then picked up my two lovely cousins, susan and julie.
got to school and the first thing my friend said was fucking model :L:L lols wtf..
i dont find myself attractive...
hehes i was high in the morning :L and i kept showing my friends my tongue with a lil saliva on it :L:L:L looked gross cause it looked like i had cum in my mouth :D
:L::L fucking cant stop looking at the cute face >.<
anyways ROLL CALL :L:L:L hmmmms i was a lil high :D
then... maths err sat close to thingy :L:L and tried to smile :D though it worked ^.^
and hehes behaved a little naught and i think i kinda pissed the shits outta him :L:L
then... languages :L i screamed and iesha had to go detention :S:S (A)
far shena texted me during a test! and my phone wasnt on silent and guess what my message tone was hardstyle sex! nigga that was hilarious :L:L hahahhas and got 100% for the test :D
recess was boring as usual.
double science was ok.. kept talking dirty to jennifer and joy and shit..
fuck :L:LL:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L had to leave for lunch last.. --"
then lunch hmmmms wasnt hungry and fouund my friends at bball court.. lol i dont fucking noe why but i bought tony a rose? and helen wanted to swear on the message :L:L but in the end we werent allowed to swear so helen jst wrote i miss you
arghhhhhhhh im goin to be broke :L:L gotta buy 6 more >.<
anyways.. then i had sport.. oft girls and boys are seperated.. how fucking gay. oft and i lost my pe shirt so i had to wear this stinky shirt that said cheetah? :L:L
played newcomball :L:L and my team won the lost... 2 fucking laps.. gotta be kidding me hahahhahs.
now im here reading my quotes, facebooking and msn :D fuck shena text me again :L:L
sheeeesh the tone echoed..
-don't wanna fall for him again,' dont think I can
take the pain Don't wanna have these feelings'
'if he doesnt feel the same dont want my heart
to jump when I havent talked to him for a while
don't wana see him grin If Im not the one whos
makin him smile dont wuna try to explain if he'lL
never understand I dont want tears in my eyes
everytime I see his face Dont want my heart to
be empty If he is thee only one who can fill 'the
space I dont want to have to smile at him when
I really wanna cry don't want him to wave hello
If he really means goodbye don't wana tell him
or let my feelings show' dont wanna get played
As a result of his little game but all he has to do
tOo get me backk Is simply.. justt say my name-
what a heart touching quote..
got to school and the first thing my friend said was fucking model :L:L lols wtf..
i dont find myself attractive...
hehes i was high in the morning :L and i kept showing my friends my tongue with a lil saliva on it :L:L:L looked gross cause it looked like i had cum in my mouth :D
:L::L fucking cant stop looking at the cute face >.<
anyways ROLL CALL :L:L:L hmmmms i was a lil high :D
then... maths err sat close to thingy :L:L and tried to smile :D though it worked ^.^
and hehes behaved a little naught and i think i kinda pissed the shits outta him :L:L
then... languages :L i screamed and iesha had to go detention :S:S (A)
far shena texted me during a test! and my phone wasnt on silent and guess what my message tone was hardstyle sex! nigga that was hilarious :L:L hahahhas and got 100% for the test :D
recess was boring as usual.
double science was ok.. kept talking dirty to jennifer and joy and shit..
fuck :L:LL:L:L:L:L:L:L:L:L had to leave for lunch last.. --"
then lunch hmmmms wasnt hungry and fouund my friends at bball court.. lol i dont fucking noe why but i bought tony a rose? and helen wanted to swear on the message :L:L but in the end we werent allowed to swear so helen jst wrote i miss you
arghhhhhhhh im goin to be broke :L:L gotta buy 6 more >.<
anyways.. then i had sport.. oft girls and boys are seperated.. how fucking gay. oft and i lost my pe shirt so i had to wear this stinky shirt that said cheetah? :L:L
played newcomball :L:L and my team won the lost... 2 fucking laps.. gotta be kidding me hahahhahs.
now im here reading my quotes, facebooking and msn :D fuck shena text me again :L:L
sheeeesh the tone echoed..
-don't wanna fall for him again,' dont think I can
take the pain Don't wanna have these feelings'
'if he doesnt feel the same dont want my heart
to jump when I havent talked to him for a while
don't wana see him grin If Im not the one whos
makin him smile dont wuna try to explain if he'lL
never understand I dont want tears in my eyes
everytime I see his face Dont want my heart to
be empty If he is thee only one who can fill 'the
space I dont want to have to smile at him when
I really wanna cry don't want him to wave hello
If he really means goodbye don't wana tell him
or let my feelings show' dont wanna get played
As a result of his little game but all he has to do
tOo get me backk Is simply.. justt say my name-
what a heart touching quote..
Saturday, February 6, 2010
theres not one guy who will have my heart but u
this feeling inside of me is the most painful feeling i ever went through in my whole life. i hurt shena... and i got hurt myself. he just wants to be friends.. i know im selfish but all i want is to be with him again.... i cant stop cring.. and my heart aches continuesly... i have trouble breathing at certain times and i did some regretful things.... he said it will be hard to get back together.. cause he has no feelings.. so theres no point of me begging for him to come back to me tmro... if i did become close friends with him... i might get hurt. cause no matter what i wont stop loving him more then just a friend. he might fall for someone else and its not going to be what i want, but at least hes happy. im never going to be happy until he loves me more then a friend back. but i doubt it. im not going to have a second chance... i miss him so much. more then anything in the world. i have true feelings for him. everytime i listen to our song or the songs he use to sing to me i burst into tears. i keep thinking about him and i miss u alot!
Baby i loved you, Why did you let me go?
Yes it hurts me, But i still want you to know
All the love we made
Can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Damn oh this boy,
he really had me thinking
Making him the more reason the future we'd be living together
and i knew it wouldn't be forever
Cause i know good things dont last long
But we could've made it further.
All the things you told me, All were lies
I know, Cause if you felt how you said you felt
You just couldn't let me go.
Without a single reason
Not even a single fight
You gave the best of my life,
But with the lonliest nights.
I got it bad, No, I got even worst that even Usher.
Cause even though you did i cant let go
No, i know its not supposed to come back
I know that you won
I know that you left
and never coming back.
Accept the fact that your gone
Baby i loved you, Why did you let me go?
Yes it hurts me, But i still want you to know
All the love we made
Can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
forever u will be in my heart, ill never let go.
im feeling suicidal but only thing stopping me is that i dont want anyone to worry about me. whether u do or dont care i wish one day we can be together again . and this time i want it to be true. i dont want u to lie to me.
oh great im crying again....
Baby i loved you, Why did you let me go?
Yes it hurts me, But i still want you to know
All the love we made
Can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Damn oh this boy,
he really had me thinking
Making him the more reason the future we'd be living together
and i knew it wouldn't be forever
Cause i know good things dont last long
But we could've made it further.
All the things you told me, All were lies
I know, Cause if you felt how you said you felt
You just couldn't let me go.
Without a single reason
Not even a single fight
You gave the best of my life,
But with the lonliest nights.
I got it bad, No, I got even worst that even Usher.
Cause even though you did i cant let go
No, i know its not supposed to come back
I know that you won
I know that you left
and never coming back.
Accept the fact that your gone
Baby i loved you, Why did you let me go?
Yes it hurts me, But i still want you to know
All the love we made
Can never be erased
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
forever u will be in my heart, ill never let go.
im feeling suicidal but only thing stopping me is that i dont want anyone to worry about me. whether u do or dont care i wish one day we can be together again . and this time i want it to be true. i dont want u to lie to me.
oh great im crying again....
Thursday, February 4, 2010
now and then i think its going to be ok.... but really its not =/
How can u walk right by and not even glance my way. When Im having a conversation with our friends.why do u always abstain? Im still so used to seeing u and u walking right up to say hi. Why cant we just go back and give us just one more try I promise we could make it work. I still love you. But what hurts me the most ...is wondering if I ever meant anything to u and If i love u always, i promise. was just a lie.
im so hurt.. i feel as though i cant smile. the only way i can.. is to be with him again. all i want is him but at the same time i dont want my friends to hate me for loving him too much.. i look at everyone and i always think there the best things in the world ive ever had. especially shena, shes always there for me and she cares about me a lot, but i cant make her happy =/=/ im always sad.
:S people may think i chose a boy over my greatest friends... its not true. i love all of yous including him... no matter what, no one will ever be replaced. i dont even have enemies at the moment. i hate no one. i love everyone in the world even the cruelest of them all.. but the people i love most are my friends and him...
i try to not think about him every second of the day. but everything reminds me about him. theres tags all over my tutor books! tag on my pencil case and ruler... tags in nearly every classroom! every love song i hear even reminds me of him. harstyles too. my room reminds me of him :S my maths hw reminds me of him.... a stupid bottle reminds me of him... things that made me happy reminds me of him..... pretty much everything reminds me of him... and when i think about it.. i try to not get upset.. but i cant... its really hard and everyone may think im an attention seeker but im not! ITS HARD! AND EVERYONES TELLING ME TO MOVE ON, JUST LET GO OR HES NOT WORTH MY TEARS. and i dont want to say it out loud but I LOVE HIM ALWAYS AND FOREVER..... IM NEVER GOING TO LET GO, EVEN IF HE HATES ME IDC... IM GOING TO LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY LIFE... word of advice never say let go.. or to just forget about him ever again. since the hr he dumped me i havnt eaten ... i only ate at lunch since renee and shena threatened me to :S so i had to. i felt really sick afterwards.. and yeah i cried.. i miss him a lot and he acts like nothing ever happend and as if he doesnt care a damn shit about the times we shared... he doesnt care about me =/=/ im not good enough for him.
am i fat?
am i ugly?
am i a bitch?
am i too clingy?
am i stupid.. for falling for u?
=/
i cant stop crying, even when theres no tears left to cry.. i still cry with dried tears. i cry for hours... =/ i think half the school saw. i had to talk to maths head teacher, ms king, peer mediator and councillor :S... and all they say is to let go.. and that its going to be ok. that im pretty and theres million of guys out there... and that maybe hed give me a second chance.... =/
it kills me when i think that he lied about promising to love me forever and to never let go =/ we talked about our future.. and now i say to myself? doesnt he think its all a waste, to dump the memories and the time we shared into a bin and jst walk away as though u dont care?
Some say hed broken my heart more then once and i still love him.. but when u think of it most of the time he made me smile.. he was one of the reasons why im still living.. =/ =/ =/ and now that hes not with me , theres not enough reasons why i should still live =/ i still have hope though. i say to myself that i will get him back but then people keep saying to let go and that its over... =/
BABE U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! how can u jst lose feelings..... =/ after all the times we had and hrs on the phone.. it just ends =/ is it my fault u lost feelings ? =/
i tried really hard ... but it looked like u wanted to lose feelings .. u wanted me to get hurt? do u like someone else or somethhing..?
im being selfish but idc i want u back. =/=/=/
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
AND ITS WEIRD HOW I STARTED CRYING AND THE RAIN STARTED POORING.
im so hurt.. i feel as though i cant smile. the only way i can.. is to be with him again. all i want is him but at the same time i dont want my friends to hate me for loving him too much.. i look at everyone and i always think there the best things in the world ive ever had. especially shena, shes always there for me and she cares about me a lot, but i cant make her happy =/=/ im always sad.
:S people may think i chose a boy over my greatest friends... its not true. i love all of yous including him... no matter what, no one will ever be replaced. i dont even have enemies at the moment. i hate no one. i love everyone in the world even the cruelest of them all.. but the people i love most are my friends and him...
i try to not think about him every second of the day. but everything reminds me about him. theres tags all over my tutor books! tag on my pencil case and ruler... tags in nearly every classroom! every love song i hear even reminds me of him. harstyles too. my room reminds me of him :S my maths hw reminds me of him.... a stupid bottle reminds me of him... things that made me happy reminds me of him..... pretty much everything reminds me of him... and when i think about it.. i try to not get upset.. but i cant... its really hard and everyone may think im an attention seeker but im not! ITS HARD! AND EVERYONES TELLING ME TO MOVE ON, JUST LET GO OR HES NOT WORTH MY TEARS. and i dont want to say it out loud but I LOVE HIM ALWAYS AND FOREVER..... IM NEVER GOING TO LET GO, EVEN IF HE HATES ME IDC... IM GOING TO LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY LIFE... word of advice never say let go.. or to just forget about him ever again. since the hr he dumped me i havnt eaten ... i only ate at lunch since renee and shena threatened me to :S so i had to. i felt really sick afterwards.. and yeah i cried.. i miss him a lot and he acts like nothing ever happend and as if he doesnt care a damn shit about the times we shared... he doesnt care about me =/=/ im not good enough for him.
am i fat?
am i ugly?
am i a bitch?
am i too clingy?
am i stupid.. for falling for u?
=/
i cant stop crying, even when theres no tears left to cry.. i still cry with dried tears. i cry for hours... =/ i think half the school saw. i had to talk to maths head teacher, ms king, peer mediator and councillor :S... and all they say is to let go.. and that its going to be ok. that im pretty and theres million of guys out there... and that maybe hed give me a second chance.... =/
it kills me when i think that he lied about promising to love me forever and to never let go =/ we talked about our future.. and now i say to myself? doesnt he think its all a waste, to dump the memories and the time we shared into a bin and jst walk away as though u dont care?
Some say hed broken my heart more then once and i still love him.. but when u think of it most of the time he made me smile.. he was one of the reasons why im still living.. =/ =/ =/ and now that hes not with me , theres not enough reasons why i should still live =/ i still have hope though. i say to myself that i will get him back but then people keep saying to let go and that its over... =/
BABE U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! how can u jst lose feelings..... =/ after all the times we had and hrs on the phone.. it just ends =/ is it my fault u lost feelings ? =/
i tried really hard ... but it looked like u wanted to lose feelings .. u wanted me to get hurt? do u like someone else or somethhing..?
im being selfish but idc i want u back. =/=/=/
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
iloveyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
imissyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
iwantyou
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/=/
AND ITS WEIRD HOW I STARTED CRYING AND THE RAIN STARTED POORING.